We received a lot of advice and warnings from experienced parents in the nine months leading up to the birth of our daughter. We also endured the taunts and maniacal laughter of those who couldn’t wait to see us dealing with the trials and tribulations of parenthood. These are people who supposedly love us. I’m convinced at least a part of the joy of being a grandparent is an unhealthy dose of schadenfreude.
Needless to say, much of the advice we received, whether good natured or not, turned out to be right on. Here’s a little of what we’ve learned so far.
You will not sleep again. Duh. I never said these were going to be profound. Certainly each baby is different, but in general they have no respect for clocks, schedules, or the fundamental difference between day and night. If you can catch two or three hours at a stretch, consider yourself fortunate.
It’s not been long enough to assess how well we operate on such a poor sleep schedule. I’ll hazard a guess - not well. But so far, we’ve done better than I would have guessed. That is not to say “well,” but we do what we can.
Listening to your baby crying for no discernible reason is about as helpless as you’ve ever felt. Every parent goes through it. It’s as inevitable as Congressional gridlock, and almost as painful. Your baby has one means of communication available to her when she is born - crying. Crying can mean anything from “I’m hungry,” to “I’m tired,” to “I’m in pain.” It can also mean nothing at all, as some of the literature will tell you that babies sometimes need to cry for some period merely to expend excess energy. I don’t know that I buy this, necessarily, but there are definitely cries that appear to have no obvious cause. They. Suck. If you are remotely human, you don’t like hearing your child cry. Having it go on for hours and knowing you’ve tried pretty much everything humanly possible to alleviate the cries makes you feel like the most incompetent parent in the world.
If those cries happen to take place at night, and feed into the lack of sleep discussed above, then... well, your nights aren’t going to be fun.
Car rides and strollers are kind of magic. Our kid doesn’t exactly love the infant carrier. The idea of being strapped in to something doesn’t sit well with her, so we tend to get serenaded with high pitched cries every time we have to take her somewhere. As soon as the car gets up to speed or the stroller starts bumping along, the volume falls to zero. I suspect this will not last forever, or at least not for the duration of long car rides to visit family, but it is pretty nice to know we have an almost surefire way to put our baby under without pharmaceuticals.
Needless to say, much of the advice we received, whether good natured or not, turned out to be right on. Here’s a little of what we’ve learned so far.
You will not sleep again. Duh. I never said these were going to be profound. Certainly each baby is different, but in general they have no respect for clocks, schedules, or the fundamental difference between day and night. If you can catch two or three hours at a stretch, consider yourself fortunate.
It’s not been long enough to assess how well we operate on such a poor sleep schedule. I’ll hazard a guess - not well. But so far, we’ve done better than I would have guessed. That is not to say “well,” but we do what we can.
Listening to your baby crying for no discernible reason is about as helpless as you’ve ever felt. Every parent goes through it. It’s as inevitable as Congressional gridlock, and almost as painful. Your baby has one means of communication available to her when she is born - crying. Crying can mean anything from “I’m hungry,” to “I’m tired,” to “I’m in pain.” It can also mean nothing at all, as some of the literature will tell you that babies sometimes need to cry for some period merely to expend excess energy. I don’t know that I buy this, necessarily, but there are definitely cries that appear to have no obvious cause. They. Suck. If you are remotely human, you don’t like hearing your child cry. Having it go on for hours and knowing you’ve tried pretty much everything humanly possible to alleviate the cries makes you feel like the most incompetent parent in the world.
If those cries happen to take place at night, and feed into the lack of sleep discussed above, then... well, your nights aren’t going to be fun.
Car rides and strollers are kind of magic. Our kid doesn’t exactly love the infant carrier. The idea of being strapped in to something doesn’t sit well with her, so we tend to get serenaded with high pitched cries every time we have to take her somewhere. As soon as the car gets up to speed or the stroller starts bumping along, the volume falls to zero. I suspect this will not last forever, or at least not for the duration of long car rides to visit family, but it is pretty nice to know we have an almost surefire way to put our baby under without pharmaceuticals.
Digital cameras are a godsend. I used to fancy myself a hobby photographer. I haven't picked up a camera in any serious fashion for several years, but I have taken more photos in the last ten days or so than I have in the previous ten months. I am very glad I don't have to pay to have all of them developed. Even a biased dad like me recognizes that the blurry picture of my daughters foot isn't really worth keeping.
Friends and Family are incredible. Southerners do food for almost any occasion. Someone die? Feed the family. Somebody born? Feed the family. We've had a lot of friends and family taking care of us, in many more ways than just keeping us nourished, and that has allowed us to spend more time focusing on our new addition. We are immensely grateful, and I can't imagine doing this without some kind of support system in place. Also, we have a ton of leftovers if anyone is hungry.
Mostly, I’ve just learned that I’m a big sap. Having a kid is pretty awesome, and we’ve spent a lot of time just staring at her sleeping. It’s hard to be human and not get a little sappy about your kid, so I fully expect I will embarrass myself will all manner of unmanly demonstrations of sentimentality in the coming months and years. I probably won’t share all of those.
Oh, and I’d like to throw a shout-out to Lumos Studio (www.lumosstudio.com) for the photograph above. As I mentioned, I'm a biased observer, but I happen to think they do some pretty damn fine work. Thanks guys!
Mostly, I’ve just learned that I’m a big sap. Having a kid is pretty awesome, and we’ve spent a lot of time just staring at her sleeping. It’s hard to be human and not get a little sappy about your kid, so I fully expect I will embarrass myself will all manner of unmanly demonstrations of sentimentality in the coming months and years. I probably won’t share all of those.
Oh, and I’d like to throw a shout-out to Lumos Studio (www.lumosstudio.com) for the photograph above. As I mentioned, I'm a biased observer, but I happen to think they do some pretty damn fine work. Thanks guys!
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