In light of the sudden spur of interest Google+ seems to be generating, I thought it might be time to review a few basic truths about social networking. Google+ has been compared to Facebook and Twitter, combining some of the features of both. Maybe it will turn out to be a worthwhile endeavor and maybe not. I’m not a power user, by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve been generally satisfied with google+ so far. But like any other form of social media, google+ gives us another forum in which to participate in bad behaviors that have become all too common on other social networks. My advice: don’t. I am not a violent person, but these behaviors make me want to do awful, awful things.
Bad behaviors exists in all forms of online social media, but in my observation they are much more obvious on Facebook than on other services, at least right now. Someone recently told me that Twitter makes them love people they’ve never met, while Facebook makes them hate everyone they’ve ever known. The reason is readily apparent - in order to be noticed on Twitter, you must be able to condense a coherent, relevant thought into 140 characters. A rare skill set to be sure, to be both relevant and brief. I’d accept being briefly relevant. Ba-dum, clang - damn, that flopped even in my inner monologue.
On Facebook, by contrast, the surest way to get a lot of attention from your legions of barely known “friends” is to be as vague and passive aggressive as possible. A few examples (you know if you’ve ever posted anything like this):
“Really?”
“I just wish people would talk about what’s on their minds”
“Well, that sucked.”
“...”
“That was interesting...”
“I just can’t take this anymore.”
Alternatively, one can “Vaguebook” as this phenomenon has become known by simply stating one’s current emotional state in the absence of any context.
“I’m so happy!”
“I’m sad :-(”
“I am unbelievably angry right now...”
Please note, negative emotional status updates tend to engender more concerned and sympathetic responses from “friends” whereas positive emotions may get a few “great” or “good for you” replies, but don’t create as much curiosity as negative statuses. Statusi? Updates.
Also note, “I am currently horny” is likely to get you blocked by a large segment of your friends, and arguably doesn’t qualify as an emotional state anyway. Also, this status update does convey a complete thought since no cause is strictly necessary (assuming you are male, and what female would be so crass?), so this doesn’t really belong in a post about Vaguebooking. I think I’ve taken this digression about as far as I can. Carrying on...
To make a long story short, when you engage in Vaguebooking it causes everyone to hate you. Many people still love you despite hating you, but it is very difficult to tolerate such ambivalent wordsmithing in a public forum. When you Vaguebook, you evidently consider your current thought worthy of bringing into the public sphere, but NOT worthy of full (or even in most cases a partial) explanation. Perhaps you only want a select few friends who know you well and already know what’s going on to see and respond to your comment. Guess what? Those people know you well and already know what’s going on. Odds are good your comment is unnecessary for their benefit. If you really need to say it to them exclusively use a message feature or - novel concept - pick up the phone. To the other 417 other friends you have on Facebook, your comment is meaningless and will either cause inquiry or frustration or both. In many cases, the attention is what the Vaguebooker is after anyway. If that is the case - well played. We all hate you, but you got 37 comments off of your open-ended post, most of them vaguely concerned and as heartfelt as a “Happy Belated Birthday” card from a third cousin. If attention is not what you are after - if you actually want to engage in dialogue with someone or get something off your chest, please... please... give us some context.
I hesitate to talk in great detail about the concept of oversharing for a variety of reasons. First, I’m painfully aware of the irony of a blogger berating Facebook users about oversharing since a blog is, practically by definition, vanity publishing, and by extension oversharing, at its very worst. One could argue that with a blog, unlike with Facebook, readers must seek out your thoughts and are not subjected to the sharing involuntarily the way the casual Facebook user must wade through the salacious details of your life to see how grandma is doing on Farmville. But I will allow the objection. Second, there is a lot of grey area within the concept of oversharing. Oversharing is defined (by Urban Dictionary, a completely reliable source) as “providing more personal information than absolutely necessary.” The grey areas come in when you try to establish what is absolutely necessary for whom, or for what purpose?
Did I use “whom” correctly there? English majors? Eh, whom cares?
Facebook is a great tool for keeping in touch with friends and family members, and it is a way more efficient method of communicating things like “the baby did something cute today” or “we bought the cat a lobster costume” than calling every single person who might be interested in those minor life details. As a pending parent, I am well aware that the soon-to-be grandparents will enjoy frequent updates, pictures, and even, perhaps, video of the little rugrat. Social media is way easier on me for that type of communication than phone calls or snail mail. I fully intend to utilize modern technology in this fashion - not exclusively, but extensively - because I will have other things to do with my time... like sleep. Inevitably, not all of your Facebook friends will care about your kid updates, how cute your animals look in human clothes, your sinus infection or upcoming medical procedure, or your recent promotion. To a certain extent, oversharing is a completely subjective concept which can only be specifically identified by the individual reader. One reader’s oversharing is another’s fantastic anecdote.
On the other hand, there is a level of sharing that takes place on Facebook and other forms of social media that we all (the 99.98% of us who do, occasionally, make rational decisions) can agree is just too damn much. We don’t need to know how “fly” that “ho” was last night. We don’t want to see your criminal domestic violence case played out on our wall. The nitty-gritty details of your delivery/surgery/divorce hearing do not belong on Twitter. And seriously, you have a fifth amendment right to remain silent - why brag about your crimes online? I’ve seen this played out in multiple contexts (shoplifting was my favorite), but every college student under the age of 21 probably has several pictures on their Facebook page that might not cause a criminal conviction, but would certainly look bad to a future employer. If I’ve seen them, odds are good they will too.
I’ve ranted myself out. My point is simple: if you are going to use social media, use it responsibly. If the statement you post online would not make any sense in a one on one, face to face conversation, you aren’t really communicating anything. Moreover, your statements, posts, pictures, and overall internet persona can and will follow you for a long, long time. Don’t get arrested, fired, or make us all hate you.
Good night, and good luck.
I just want more pictures of people's dinners.
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