Dragon*Con 2012

Over Labor Day weekend, the Wife, Olivia, and I made our way to Atlanta for geek-Mecca: Dragon*Con 2012. For the uninitiated, Dragon*Con is a science-fiction, fantasy, geek-(excuse me, pop-) culture based convention taking up the better part of downtown Atlanta's hotels for a long weekend once a year. Officially, five of the largest hotels in downtown Atlanta play host to the affair, but since the entire block of rooms set aside by the convention sells out within two hours of being announced, attendees tend to take up a great deal more hotel room space than at just the host hotels. We, for instance, planned our trip in late May/early June of this year, and were not able to find a reasonably priced hotel room anywhere near downtown. Of course, over Labor Day weekend, Atlanta also played host to two college football games, a NASCAR event, and Braves Baseball. But mostly it was nerds in steampunk gear.

Dragon*Con consists of panel discussions and Q&A's presented by guests both famous and obscure. This year's guests included actors from shows like Star Trek TNG; Stargate (all of the iterations); Battlestar Galactica; and Firefly to name a few; numerous writers of sci-fi, speculative fiction, alternative history, and fantasy; and lots and lots of fanpersons who hosted discussions on their pet fandom.

Here's a quick rundown on the good, the bad, and the ugly from Dragon*Con this year.

The Good

James Marsters. As you can see from the picture above, we had a chance to chat with Spike (of Joss Whedon's Buffy and Angel). Super nice guy, and obviously appreciates cute babies. Asked us to check out his band, and you can too - Ghost of the Robot, downloads available on iTunes. Can't speak to the quality as I haven't actually checked them out yet (Sorry Mr. Marsters), but I figure he can take the time to speak with me and let me flash a camera in his face, so the least I can do is pimp his new project.

People watching. This is the most entertaining part of Dragon*Con if you can ignore the massive crowds. Lots of off the wall costumes (which undermine my belief that I am an informed geek, since I haven't the foggiest idea what most of these people are going for). Some of the costumes are just sad, but many of them are incredibly intricate and impressive. And they are everywhere. We were in the distinct minority by not dressing up. Mostly this was a logistical decision. Or laziness. Whatever.

Celeb Spotting. The majority of Dragon*Con's celebrity guests are B-List, if we're being honest, but it's still pretty cool to rub elbows with people you've watched on TV for years. Besides meeting Mr. Marsters in the Con's walk of fame, we were yards away from the likes of Michael Dorn, Jonathan Frakes, Jewel Staite, Adam Baldwin, Jason Momoa, and Richard Dean Anderson (that's right, MacGuyver).

The Bad

People Navigating. The crowds are obnoxious. Not the people - everyone is a geek at this thing, so most people are pretty friendly. But the sheer mass of humanity if ridiculous, especially on Saturday when the Dragon*Con parade takes over downtown. There is no such thing as moving quickly through these crowds, and the simple act of grabbing lunch in a food court is a two hour proposition. Several of the host hotels have elevated walkways above street level (super convenient, right?). Yeah, they reek of body odor, and require you to tiptoe slowly behind the three hundred other bodies compressed into the same small space and headed in the same direction. Fun times.

The celebs... some of them. So, the downside of being in close proximity to celebrities you've loved watching for years is that you may be disillusioned by them. Some actors are nicer than their on screen personas. Some, not so much. Also, some of the actors seem to enjoy the Con atmosphere... too much. The number of actors we saw in panels who were apparently drunk or hungover was a little embarrassing. While they may be more entertaining this way, to my mind it shows a lack of respect for the fans.

Parking. Same as people navigating, only with cars, SUVs, and lots of pedestrians to avoid killing.

The lines. A necessary evil of any Con of significant size, any popular panel required lining up an hour or more in advance. Apparently if you've ever been to Comic*Con (Dragon*Con's more trendy, popular cousin from San Diego) you scoff at these type lines because yours have been known to be twelve hours or more. But I don't like waiting. Fortunately, as mentioned above, the people in line with you are mostly nice, like-minded nerds who are willing to wait for the same thing you are.

The Ugly

Spandex. Seriously folks. It's a privilege, not a right. There are a lot of scantily clad people at Dragon*Con. And there are a lot of scantily clad people that have no business being scantily clad people at Dragon*Con.

Furry Fans. Tails, leggings, ears, whole body animal costumes, and a whole subculture I'm glad my daughter was too young to ask about.

Inconsiderate fans. In a group this size, I honestly expected much more of this, and so was pleasantly surprised at how rare the truly rude or obnoxious fan was. Unfortunately, while they were in the minority, the instances I saw were glaring. For instance: while I'm fairly certain the host hotels only permitted assistance animals, we saw at least one con-goer walking a distinctly non-working animal through a (carpeted) lobby, where said animal, probably scared out of its mind, promptly shat in the middle of foot traffic. The fan saw this, and promptly scurried away laughing. Seriously.

What we learned

All around, the Con was a great time, and we'd likely do it again one day. Without kids. Olivia was fantastic - better than she had any right to be all weekend - but the logistics of moving with a small child (particularly as she gets older and more able to locomote on her own) are limiting in an environment like this. We also discovered that the opportunities to take cute photos of your baby with famous people are less accessible than we expected, at least if you don't want to spend hundreds of dollars on posed photos. All told, there is less to be gained by bringing your kids than by leaving them with grandparents.

We also learned that staying downtown (and thus, planning further in advance) is the way to go. While a few hotels offer shuttle service into downtown, there are no good ways to get in to the city for this event. Also, while the night life aspects of Dragon*Con are for people younger than me (sad to admit), there are a number of late evening panels and events we didn't get to attend because we were staying outside of the city. Had we been closer to our room, it would have been an option. Also, we would have punched a puppy for a place to put our feet up for an hour or so in the middle of the day, and might have saved some money and time on meals if we had stuff in our room to return to.

We will probably pass on 2013, but there are better than average odds we will go back one day. Hope you fellow nerds have a chance to go one day as well.

Another Sci-Fi Battle: Stormtroopers v. Redshirts

Umm... fair use?

As my posts on the Borg Cube v. the Death Star were fairly popular (it's all relative - this is a noncommercial blog after all), I think treatment of another cross-franchise conflict is in order. This one was suggested by a friend of mine, and I've decided to consider the question carefully, despite it being a little absurd. Why absurd? Well let's consider - Stormtroopers and Redshirts are the cannon fodder of the Star Wars and Trek universes respectively. Both have a talent for ineptitude. Stormtroopers (despite Obi-Wan's comments regarding the accuracy of blast points on the broad side of a Sandcrawler) have no more ability to hit what they are shooting at than Death Star engineers have of building a space station without a glass jaw. Redshirts, on the other hand, are famed for dying more easily and in more contrived fashion than the hero of the original King's Quest games (dude could trip over a cat and fall to his death. Seriously). Stormtroopers do die by the truckloads, but usually because of something a Jedi-related, and in mass casualty Death Star explosions that have little to do with their own inability. Redshirts have no particular reputation at all regarding an ability to shoot, kill, maim, or otherwise influence any part of combat. This is generally because they die of fright when the blasters come out. Or when a Tribble coughs. You know. Whatever.

So, taking all of this in to consideration, the question is not really one of who would win in a fight. I don't think there's much of an argument to be made that Redshirts (singular or in huge numbers) could take down a like force of Stormtroopers (but by all means if someone has an argument for them, please make it). Rather, I think the better question is, which set's seeming supernatural ability would prevail in a fight? The Stormtroopers' ineptitude (which would result in a draw) or the Redshirts' deathwish (thus Stormtrooper victory)?

I'm tempted to answer the question with a resounding "who cares?" but that would defeat the purpose of sparking nerdy discussion. Needless to say, the battle would be one of the most painful to watch in the history of science fiction. It would almost certainly take hours, and involve Redshirts jumping out from behind cover while dropping phasers as Stormtroopers fire into the ground, or behind themselves. I'd estimate there is a roughly 5% chance of the Redshirts prevailing outright due to massive "friendly fire" casualties in the Imperial ranks. Ultimately though, I think the Redshirts resort of falling on jagged rocks or giving in to congenital heart defects even as the blasters continue to miss them by miles, and the Stormtroopers would prevail in spite of themselves.

Feel free to discuss in the comments, or suggest any other sci-fi faceoffs that need to be considered.

Ghost of Christmas Past

Christmas is a time for making memories and, as you get older, for elevating and embellishing the older memories far beyond the quality of the original experience. Many people tend to think that Christmas used to be way better than it is today. Maybe, but I think Christmas is pretty much the same today as it has been since post-WWII - same movies (except for those starring Chevy Chase and Tim Allen), same songs (except for the one Mariah Carey sings), and let's face it, there hasn't been much innovation on the decorations front in that amount of time either. A friend recently joked that Christmas is the time of year when we try and replicate the Christmas experience of the Baby Boomers' childhood. It's kind of true - there's not much support for the idea that Christmas 100 years ago looked much like it does today. Tradition isn't much more than something you can get two generations in a row to do more than once in a lifetime.

None of that diminishes the fondness with which I hold many of my Christmas time memories. I'm just a bit of a realist and recognize that childhood memories (mine, at least) tend to get exaggerated over time. So while my fondest Christmas memories (and I think those of most people) tend to be the oldest, I really think Christmas is pretty awesome today as well.

I say all this only as an unnecessarily long preface to a few reminiscences of Christmases past. I'd like to share them in the hopes that you might have some similar experiences to share, or at least some pleasant memories of your own to enjoy.

Christmas as a kid usually meant lots of time with my grandmother. My mom's mom lived nearby, and would usually stay with us over the holidays, and keep us kids while school was out. My dad's parents lived further away, and while we usually saw them for a short visit over the holidays, I had nothing like the same degree of time spent with them. Gramma's presence, as with most grandparents, meant we were spoiled rotten. Among other things, this meant anything we wanted for breakfast was fair game. I could probably have asked for lobster thermidor and she'd have found a way to do it, but invariably I asked for nothing but french toast for breakfast for the whole of Christmas break. We also had a seemingly endless supply of "Gramma cookies" - homemade sugar cookies cut into Christmas shapes and sprinkled in red or green. For a special treat, we'd get an occasional pan of homemade cinnamon rolls which made Cinnabon look like the mass-produced, overly-sugared lumps that they truly are. Really, it's kind of no wonder I was a chubby kid. Food is awesome, and the homemade variety doubly so.

We didn't have many huge traditions. I don't recall caroling as a family, no big Christmas letters or Christmas cards with pictures of the kids in their Sunday best (I fought tooth and nail against my Sunday best on Sunday, let alone on other occasions), and we didn't have elaborate light displays on the house a la the Griswold's. We had a tree, of course, and in later years we had a small secondary fake tree set aside specifically for mine and my dad's Star Trek and Star Wars ornaments. The Death Star v. Borg Cube debate raged even then in the midst of an artificial evergreen microverse, complete with lightsaber sound effects and Spock hailing the Enterprise with "Happy Holidays" from the shuttlecraft Galileo. But I digress.

In the weeks before Christmas, it was traditional for me to take every opportunity to snoop for my gifts in every nook and cranny of our house. My parents weren't stupid, however, and either used a hiding place I couldn't access without being noticed (like the pull down attic) or kept all of our gifts at Dad's office until they were wrapped. I usually only managed to discover wrapped gifts, and wasn't quite bold enough to attempt the unwrap/rewrap game. Only once did I manage to discover what I was getting ahead of the big day, and that was through no particular cleverness on my part - an instruction manual was left out from where my parents had the foresight to test and make sure my present actually worked. Unfortunately, I made the discovery in plain view of my parents, which nearly cost me the present. Now that I am a parent myself, I finally understand what got them so upset. Not so much the spoiling of their big surprise as the sheer stupidity I showed in asking "what's this?" when the perfectly obvious answer was "it's the instruction manual to the gift you've begged and wheedled for over the past six months." They were undoubtedly furious that they had wasted so much effort over the preceding years on a high-achieving moron. If Olivia demonstrated that lack of subtlety, I'd probably ask whether she needed to be held back a grade.

At some point every year I recall hearing the Charlie Brown Christmas Special on in the background. The Grinch, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Clay Lump, and even the rather forgettable Garfield Christmas special made occasional appearances as well. I don't recall seeing any of the "classic" Christmas movies like "It's a Wonderful Life," or "Miracle on 34th Street" until I was much older, but "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" and "A Christmas Story" did get some occasional play. Growing up in South Carolina, Christmas very rarely meant snow, but on the few occasions where we got some December flakes we took full advantage, sticking a carrot in an 18-inch pile of dirty ice and calling it "Frosty."

We went to Christmas Eve services at church every year. I enjoyed that more than most church services as a kid because they let me, yes, me, play with fire. Well, a candle. Christmas morning usually involved me sneaking in to the living room as early as possible to spy out whatever Santa had brought (Santa's gifts were traditionally left unwrapped). There was no explicit rule about waking the parents up - just the general understanding that if you wanted to enjoy your Christmas presents at all, you would let them lie abed until the unreasonable hour of six a.m. or so. I do fondly remember the Christmas I received a Sega Genesis (I was not an SNES kid, and we can debate their relative merits in another post), which had quite kindly been hooked up for me in advance. I'm not sure how early I got up to snoop on my presents that morning, but I'm fairly confident it was in those wee hours that blur the lines between "too late" and "too early." In any event, I had not been playing terribly long when my dad came stumbling in, sleep-blind and in desperate need of coffee, five more hours sleep, or both. Rather than sending me back to bed though, he sat down, and we took turns running Sonic the Hedgehog off of cliffs.

My dad had as much talent for the Sega's three button controller as I have for the 60-button fiascos that come with modern consoles. But we had a blast. I did anyway, and he at least humored me.

There are lots of other good memories I could share - Lights at the Zoo, listening to Christmas music on the radio until you wanted to puke, the elaborate nativity scenes of some of our neighbors, and Monopoly-based brawls with cousins while visiting family out of town. This last was not so much a Christmas specific memory as a fact of every family gathering between the ages of 6-12, when someone had the clever idea to ship the Monopoly board to Jimmy Hoffa. There were some rough Christmases too, of course, like the year Gramma passed away, along with several other beloved family members. There was the Christmas Eve in college where I very nearly totaled my truck on the way home from Columbia. Still, no one was hurt, and the honey-baked ham in my floorboards was unscathed. Vehicles can be replaced, but those hams are expensive. There have been some pretty incredible Christmases in more recent years too, like five years ago when Christmas came a mere five days before the Fiancee became the Wife. That was a great year, and a great celebration.

Now come the memories we get to make as parents. Our perspective on Christmas over the next few years will undoubtedly be world's apart from the perspective Olivia will have, (for starters, our perspective is about five feet further from the ground) but I look forward to helping shape her memories and experiences of  this time of year, and creating some traditions of our own.

We have already decided to nix the egg-nog gallon challenge, and I'd recommend you do the same.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

Death Star v. Borg Cube Redux. Subtitle: Lawyers are big damn nerds

A friend of mine who shall remain nameless (for his own protection) shared my original Death Star v. Borg Cube blog post with an American Bar Association listserv for lawyers in solo practice and those interested in solo practice issues (appropriately names Solesez). I found the responses to be very entertaining, and it more or less confirmed everything I've ever thought about lawyers being big damn nerds.  I’ll let their points speak for themselves or this post will go on forever, but suffice it to say I agree with conclusion that the Firefly-class ship Serenity (with, at a minimum, Mal and River Tam on board) would soundly defeat both the Borg Cube and the Death Star, probably by turning them on each other. Browncoats are just too pretty to die.

I have edited the thread to protect the geeky and to save space. Specifically I deleted some of the more generic posts, and those that don’t bear on the argument at hand. Please enjoy.

Forwarded conversation
Subject: Deathstar v. Borg Cube
------------------------
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 1:30 PM
To: solosez <SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org>

http://dontforgetthechaos.blogspot.com/2011/07/celebrity-deathmatch-death-start-versus.html

A buddy of mine posted this on his blog and I wanted to see what this collective said about the Deathstar v. Borg Cube debate.

From:[edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 1:44 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Oh, Borg Cube. Setting aside his bias, I agree with his analysis.
[OMG - did I just post on ST / StW in a public place?]

-----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 2:09 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Hands down. It is well established that Kirk's ship had planet busting
abilities.  Picard's ship was more powerful than Kirk's. The Borg cube
was vastly more powerful than Picard's ship.  Simple A > B, B > C, thus
A > C, the Borg cube is more powerful than Kirk's ship.

The Lucas contraption required a veritable planetoid to reach planet
busting power. It wouldn't stand a chance against the Roddenberry.

Unless their agents cut a deal.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 2:16 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Resistance is Futile!   Borg Cube in the first round!

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 2:18 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


You know you're a geek if you read through the whole thing (and get past the
cute how I met my wife part of it).

Before reading I said "Borg - no contest."

Nanu Nanu.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 3:02 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


Oh, please, this is simply SO silly.  First, I never did care for any of the
star treks after Kirk: just never saw the point behind Captian Jean Luc
Picard.

And, obviously, EITHER ONE (deathstar OR the borg thingie) wouldn't stand a
chance against a General Systems Vehicle (and that's not a Larry Niven
General Products ship, that's a Culture ship as the real geeknoscenti
recognize).  Bah.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 3:38 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


Really, it's a silly question. If a rag-tag bunch of rebels with
crappy ships can take the death star how could it possibly stand up to
the Borg?

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 3:51 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


An X-Wing is NOT a crappy ship! You take that back!

Besides, Data defeated the Borg ship by basically emailing them to go to
sleep via Locutus-Picard.  The Borg unquestioningly started their
"regenerative cycle" triggering a power cascade blowing up the entire ship.
 The collective was the weakness. If you're going to penalize the Death Star
for having an achille's heal, at least apply the standard consistently.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 4:01 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


I can't imagine the Borg wouldn't have learned the weaknesses of the Death
Star. I mean, seriously, we are talking about the Borg.  Between the
in-fighting on the Death Star and the inevitable vent holes which lead to
it's downfall, I'm sure the Borg are plenty ahead of the game.

This is fun.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 4:19 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Deathstar all the way. But rules of engagement are necessary here. Is it a
standoff? Sneak attack?

Even in the blog post, it says death star with no Jedi's, sith or otherwise.

Well how about a borg ship with no Borg on it then.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 4:22 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Many Bothans had to die in order for the Rebels to learn the Death Star's
weakness.  They were willing to sacrifice themselves for the greater good of
the Rebel Alliance but would not have done so for the Borg.  No Bothan
sacrifice, no knowledge of weakness.

The Borg win because they're the Borg is kind of circular logic.  What makes
them so all powerful?

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 4:33 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

I think ground rules would have to be stated.  The Borg might not attack the
Death Star directly--all they'd have to do is get a few Borg inside and
start assimilating the crew.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 4:41 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


Objection, assumes facts not in evidence, e.g. that Borg teleportation
technology is not disrupted by shields generated by a small base on the
forest moon of Endor.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 5:48 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

The Borg would have the death star for lunch and the Borg Queen would dance on the emperor's head. Resistance is futile!

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 6:13 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


Ahh but what about mind control and suggestions on the borg?   Are they, due
to being a collective with no individual thought,  as weak minded as
stormtroppers and thus easily persuaded to bow to the situation bidding?

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 6:22 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Yeah I thought about that as well and my thought is it wouldn't work on the Borg because of the collective. Don't think any Jedi mind tricks would work on several billion collective minds.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 6:40 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


Fascinating.
Initally, I would have gone with the Death Star because, as is pointed out
in the blog post, "It's the Death Star." I find it hard to see how a Borg
Cube could withstand firepower on that magnetude. I would also point out
that even the Borg haven't destroyed entire planets, and Species 8472 (or
whatever it is) was able to destroy hundreds of cubes with what appeared to
be less firepower than can be mustered by the Death Star.
However, the poster's comment about the lack of maneouverabilty is
persuasive. If the Death Star can't target the Cube, it's firepower is
irrelevant.
Then again, we all know that the Borg tend to ignore anything they don't
interpret as a threat.
So, round 1, in almost all scenarios (Death Star vs. Borg Cube, surprise or
no surprise) I'm going to say Death Star, easily.
Subsequent rounds will undoubtedly go to the Borg, as would a long
protracted confrontation. The Empire could not possibly win a war of
attrition against the Borg.
Regardless, all talk of Jedi's, Siths, Emperors, and mind tricks, etc is
foolish. We all know that stuff isn't real.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 6:45 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

The borg can shoot better than stormtroopers.    The borg actually hit their
targets.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 7:02 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

When the Rebel Alliance comes out of hyperspace against the second Death
Star, they "witness the firepower of [the] *fully* armed and *operational
battle station" **as it picks apart Mon Calamari cruisers with its planet
destroying laser.  Enough with the Death Star couldn't hit the Cube
argument.*

I can't believe I'm still engaged in this thread instead of finishing my
response to a MSJ due tomorrow. Damn you geek gene!

----
From: [edited[

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 8:01 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Oh, for Pete's sake, people!  Move on!

Serenity over Deathstar.
Serenity over Borg Cube.

Hutzpah beats overwhealming odds
like scissors beat paper.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 8:09 PM
To: [edited], SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

You have a point.  Serenity has River...and we really don't know what she is capable of.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 8:27 PM
To: [edited]

Cc: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

River hmmph.   Serenity has Captain Tightpants who always comes up with a plan that works -- eventually.    Zoe who kicks ass - literally.   Jayne and his arsenal.   Kaylee who can sweetalk that ship into doing anything.   And Wash who can fly that ship places it shouldn't be flown once Kaylee sweettalks her.   (In my world, the BDM never happened).

----
From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 8:44 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Yeah, I think Serenity has it, I mean look at what they did just to get
around the reavers!
And I'm pretty sure the Tams could take out they Death Star AND the Borg
before they even knew there was a fight :)

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 8:55 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org


two words ... Kobayashi Maru ... pfffft!!!

Live Long & Prosper!!

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 9:35 PM
To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Batman always wins.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 10:18 PM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

My money would be on a fully operational Deathstar, provided rebel forces are not a factor.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Thu, Aug 18, 2011 at 11:03 PM

To: [edited]

Cc: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Oh yea, River Tam rocks.  But then so does the whole crew.  Of course, better script and acting helps a lot too.

The Serenity crew and Mr. Universe (aka Charlie Epps) [and maybe a few "dolls"] could make short work of the a Borg Cube or a Death Star.  Probably turn them on each other and make us all laugh in the process.

----

From: [edited]

Date: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 7:51 AM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Of course the Borg teleport onto Endor before heading towards the Death
Star. Yes, they first assimilate the small oddly Wookie like looking chub
chub peeps which name escapes those of us who really didn't retain to that
level of detail... chub chub. ♪

----
From: [edited]

Date: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 10:22 AM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

That would be, methinks, the adorable teddy-bear-like Ewoks.

What an interesting mental image ... Borg Ewoks....

----

From: [edited]

Date: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 10:40 AM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

At the risk of belabouring the obvious, and on the heels of a "Kobayashi
Maru" reference upthread, it really comes down to who's show it is. I
mean, hell, Dazzler beat Doom in her first ish. Point being, what makes
this sort of thing fun is seeing the underdog win, be it the Rebel
Alliance, Kirk, Captain Tightpants, whomever.

It makes sense that lawyers of all professions are drawn to this sort of
fantasy. First, our business all too often manifests pretty much the
opposite scenario: Little guys crushed by big guys, evil getting off on
a technicality, innocent men hanging that jurors might dine. Second, and
possibly more important in the collective psyche, our very system of law
is premised on the story of David and Goliath. It is founded on the
notion that God will not let an unjust cause prevail, although in our
modern state we have substituted "the System" for "God".

In fantasy (science or other) the writer plays God and, generally, we in
the reading and viewing audience require our heroes to "Never give up,
never surrender!"

----
From: [edited]

Date: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 10:49 AM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Borg Ewoks--highly useful for a Borg assault on the Muppets or Sesame
Street.  "Hi kids, the word of the day is . . . assimilate."

----

From: [edited]

Date: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 11:59 AM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

Borg Bert & Ernie?  That would bring the Borg world to its knees.

----
From: [edited]

Date: Fri, Aug 19, 2011 at 12:09 PM

To: SOLOSEZ@mail.americanbar.org

I really love this thread! It is making a very long week much more bearable.
It is also enabling some very serious Friday morning procrastination.

My vote is for the Borg. It's a completely biased vote due to my love of
Star Trek. (But my dog, Poppins, looks just like an ewok. We almost named
her Wicket.) I do think that the Borg as a villain are more unique than the
Empire. More of a political or societal concept than pure "bad guys" with a
cool weapon, which makes their defeat more challenging. I agree with most of
the blog poster's analysis of the two technologies.

The blog post reminds me of one of my favorite Star Trek/Star Wars
comparisons, which is from Lene Taylor, one of the duo behind the "Look at
His Butt" podcast, a Star Trek/William Shatner podcast that I've been
listening to for years. She has a proposal for a talk to give to a local
cynics group about why Star Trek is the more appropriate fandom for cynics
because much of Star Wars is based upon belief in the "magical" power of the
Jedi, whereas in Star Trek, the heroes usually triumph due to their human or
human-like qualities and science. I think that it's a great debate to get
into, especially with devoted fans of each franchise. The belief in some
sort of magic is one of the bigger differences between most of science
fiction and the rest of the fantasy genre. I love both!

On Geeking Your New Baby

Let’s be honest. It’s not really as if our soon-to-be born child will have much of a chance to be anything other than a massive geek. Her tastes may run counter to ours in some ways, but she has virtually no chance to get out of our house without being inclined towards something innately dorky - science fiction or fantasy literature, elaborate and complex board games, dwarf tossing, etc. She will almost certainly go to college quoting Star Wars, Monty Python, and/or Firefly. I’m more than okay with that.

And none of this precludes the possibility that our daughter (or any subsequent children) may have talents that lie in territory not exclusively belonging to geek culture. I doubt we will raise up a future University of South Carolina Quarterback (I wouldn’t tolerate the arrest record, for one) but I can’t rule out the possibility altogether. Maybe music will be more their game. One can be a music geek, but can also be musically talented without being geeky about it. At least in theory. Most of the talented musicians I know are geeks. But I digress....

Regardless of where life takes our children, we, like any good parents, want to give them every advantage. That means geeking them, early and often.

“Geeking” a baby is just “geeking out” or expressing your geek tendencies in an outward fashion, specifically directed at and expressed upon a target: your child. Before your child is old enough to have and express preferences on clothing, television, toys, food, pop culture, and political ideologies all of these things are left to you. By geeking your baby, you can influence those future preferences. Be warned that the influence may not always manifest in the way desired or expected. Backfires have been known to occur. Minor example - my sister and I had polar opposite reactions to constant childhood exposure to Jimmy Buffett. While recognizing that many infinitely more talented musicians will never catch a break, I happen to enjoy Jimmy Buffett in almost any context. On the other hand, until fairly recently my sister entered into drooling convulsions anytime she heard the opening chords to “Come Monday.”

In retrospect, that might have actually been a positive reaction. But I digress again...

Anyway, despite the risks of backfire, if you can’t have a little fun at your new child’s expense, or at least with their assistance, what is the point of parenthood?

“So,” you ask, “how does one ‘geek’ their baby?”
I respond, “I’m glad you asked.”
You return, “So tell me already.”
I reply, “I will.”
You say, “okay.”
And we move on….

Clothing
Perhaps the easiest way to geek your baby is in your approach to dressing them. There is virtually no limit to the inappropriate, novel, and incredibly geeky items you can buy for your kid. Take, for instance, these Star Trek onesies from Thinkgeek.


Nice, right? I hope the red one says “please keep an eye on me” on the back. Look hard enough and you can probably find similar items for the science fiction/fantasy tale of your choice. The interwebs are full of strange and wonderful things for babies like Yoda-ear knit caps, vampire teeth pacifiers, and baby Cthulu hooded towels. Well, I haven’t actually seen that last one, but if it doesn’t exist already, somebody should make it. In any event, dressing your infant appropriately (or inappropriately as the case may be) can make them a living, breathing billboard to your own person fanboy or fangirl tendencies. But there is no real reason to spend lots of money on clothing your baby in geek garb. One of the best ideas we encountered in the myriad baby showers that were thrown for us (our friends and family are awesome, by the way) is the concept of a “onesie station” where guests decorate plain onesies with personalized messages or art. Your kid will need lots of onesies (or “creepers” if you prefer that term, though why you would I don’t know). Based on advice from older parents, having a stockpile of relatively plain onesies for layered garments, emergencies, and for days you’re just not out to impress anyone with your infant-related fashion sense is a good idea. Packs of these plain onesies go for about what a single elaborate onesie can cost. If those relatively plain onesies happen to get decorated by your incredibly geeky, fabric-marker loving friends, that’s just all the better.

Undoubtedly, you will end up with some sappy and sentimen–I mean, beautiful and caring messages on some of your onesies if you do something like this. But if your friends are like you, you’ll probably have some success on the geek front as well. Our showers resulted in some gems that included an original rendition of Trogdor that was quite good, a reference to the whole “a dingo ate my baby” scenario of the eighties, and a onesie declaring my daughter to be “daddy’s little tax deduction.” Damn right. Sure, they may not be professional print quality items, and yes, they almost certainly will violate some copyright laws somewhere, but there’s something uber-geeky about homespun (home-decorated, at least) geek-baby clothing. I approve.

This does not even address the subject of Halloween costumes for infants and all the geek-splendor that can result. It’s really just too easy to go crazy there, but I’ll touch upon kids and costumes in a little while.

Reading Material

For the first few months of your child’s life, it doesn’t much matter what you read to them. Mostly they are just absorbing your voice, and the simple rhythms of language itself. The whole issue of “attention span” is kind of a moot point. Why not take advantage of this fact and read something you enjoy to the baby? On my read aloud to-do list: The Hobbit, Harry Potter, Chronicles of Narnia, and possibly the Dresden Files and Dark Tower (maybe with some creative editing and skipped chapters). It could just as easily be Tolstoy or Melville, but if I can’t stand to read it why would I subject the baby to it? Some of these can be cycled back through as kids get a little older and have the attention span to follow chapter books. Others (Dresden and Dark Tower, for example) will probably go back on the shelf until at least adolescence. But, you might as well get them accustomed to the universes geeks play in early.

Fortunately, it’s not all on you once you get your children to the point of basic literacy. There’s plenty of books for children of all ages that can indoctrinate them just as well as you can. Take a look at this....

If Star Wars isn't your bag, you can rest assured that similar board books exist for whatever your interests... or the interest you want to encourage in your kid. Personally, I kind of like the idea of teaching our kids that E is for Ewok and S is for Stormtroopers.



Socializing

If you aren’t going to be those parents who closet themselves off from the universe when your first kid is born, then inevitably your kid is going to get packed off to one or more social gathering, concert, monster truck rally, or other event which piques the interest of you or your spouse. Since you and/or your spouse can be assumed to be in some sense a geek by virtue of the fact that you are still reading this post on this blog, these interest will run similar to those I have written about previously (see my post on Growing your Inner Geek).

Realistically, midnight movies are probably not going to happen for you for at least a while after a baby is born, unless you have an awesome and incredibly understanding babysitter. In any case, taking your baby along is a bad idea. Seriously – if I find that awesome babysitter, I don’t want your kid crying through the movie. Please don’t do it. But there are other events your baby can tag along to, and possibly even participate in.

If you happen to be in to table-top role playing, make your player character (PC) a parent and use your baby as a prop to help you get into your character. Or assign the baby to play some of the less interactive Non-player characters (NPCs). Some bartenders just grunt, so there’s a place to start them. Whatever you do, don’t let the baby hold your dice. Nobody likes to pause combat for the Heimlich maneuver.

If you are headed to a Con, take your baby along. You will probably have better luck getting pictures with geek icons like Felicia Day and Nathan Fillion if you ask them to take a picture with your cute kid, and those are memories that will last a lifetime. For you… the kid will have the pictures at least. You’ll probably have an even better time if you go in costume, and incorporate the baby in the theme. There are some easy ways to go about this – Batman and Robin, or any superhero with a sidekick is an obvious choice. Han and Chewy, Kirk and Spock, Aragorn and one of the hobbits (hehe... that’s just funny, I don’t care who you are), are a few other ideas. But you could get obscure, as Con-going geeks are wont to do. Don medieval armor and a sword, and wear the baby in a backpack/carrier, and you’re Michael Carpenter! (For those of you unfamiliar with Jim Butcher’s The Dresden Files, Michael Carpenter is a Knight of the Cross – a modern day paladin who slays evil with a sword that may be Excalibur. He’s also a good Catholic, and always has babies in his house. …Admittedly, it loses something when you have to explain so much.)

Those are just a few things that come to mind. How else can you geek your baby?

Celebrity Deathmatch! Death Star versus Borg Cube

This post goes a little beyond geeky, into pure nerd territory, but there’s a good reason why I consider the questions relevant. To give you a little context: This question represented a long running point of contention between my wife and one of her best college friends, who for the sake of anonymity we’ll call Karen. In point of fact, it was a debate amongst all the members of my wife’s social circle in college, but my wife took the unenviable and (for years) solitary position that the Borg cube would win such a confrontation (all things being equal, and no Jedi involved), despite the naysayers and pooh-poohers to the contrary.

Enter me, on our first pseudo-date: her college graduation party. I was invited by another friend of hers a few nights prior, and really only knew about two people there, but this hot babe who would one day be my wife was going to be there, so I was going dammit. I arrived, and had not even managed to say hello to the pretty lass before a girl I had never met before (Karen) abruptly demanded:”Which one would win - Death Star or Borg Cube?”

Now, the vast majority of those who even understand the question would probably answer “the Death Star.” Their primary argument would be “It’s the Death Star.” Valid point, but it fails to take all the variables into account. My response, off the cuff, was “Borg Cube, and here’s why....”

This, as my wife tells it, was the moment she knew she was really in trouble. The fact that I played along at all was all kinds of brownie points, but getting the right answer (read: her answer) got me super sexy bonus brownie points. Thus begun a love affair for the ages. Judge me all you want - you just wish your story started that cool.

Nonetheless, my feats of logic in determining that the Star Trek baddies would beat out the Emperor’s brazenly flawed LEGO project did not persuade the rest of her circle of friends. I think the fact that I was willing to play ball impressed some of them, much as it did with my wife, but they were not swayed in their convictions. Undoubtedly, many of you will disagree with me as well.

The primary reason I went with the Borg over the Death Star is that George Lucas is a moron, and Gene Roddenberry is (was) not. Roddenberry’s science fiction was, by and large, based on good science (very early episodes and techno-babble dialogue notwithstanding). Gene’s best friend, after all, was the brilliant Isaac Asimov, of both science-fiction and science-science fame.

George Lucas, on the other hand, wrote the line “It’s the ship that made the Kessel run in less than 12 parsecs.” If you don’t get why that’s dumb, it’s okay. Google it and come back. We’ll wait.

Later on, Lucas gave us midichlorians...

I will never. Let. That. Go.

In any event, what this comes down to is the technical thought process behind the different technologies. What technical specs there are out there for the two fictional ships probably had little or nothing to do with the creators of the two franchises - I’ll concede that. Still, I remember once a long time ago seeing a pretty dated set of specifications for the “turbolasers” that Lucas’ Star Destroyers had on board. The range was kind of pathetic. Whether the specs came from Lucas’ people or not, whoever wrote them essentially designed a weapon that couldn’t reach much beyond the nose of the ship they were on. What specs there are for Borg weaponry bear no such obvious defects. I know I’m getting into some incredibly nerdy minutiae here, but I’m not the one who asked the question. I just answered it. Correctly.

Anyhoo, these “turbolasers” are the same weapons that played support roles on the Death Star (the guns that really only worked to shoot at small Rebel fighters flying a few dozen meters off the surface). Oh, and the Death Star also has a complement of relatively frail fighters and bombers. The Death Star’s main weapon, which is apparently the only thing it has that can reach a distant target, is limited to a 180 degree targeting range, since it obviously can’t fire behind itself. This targeting range is a best case scenario- it’s not even clear from the movies that it has that much targeting flexibility. Could it hit something directly in its peripheral range? We’ll never know. A few small fighters managed to blow it up. Twice.

In any event, any ship on the back side of the space station with a decent ranged weapon could spend all day blasting away from a distance, and adjust position as the main weapon turns to meet the aggressor (or tries to, anyway). Let’s face it, the station took an eternity to get clear of Yavin Four - it doesn’t turn on a dime.

Even when a target is in range of the Death Star’s main weapon, it appears that the target has to be completely stationary to be truly threatened. What did it actually manage to blow up? Alderaan and a completely unprepared Mon Calamari Cruiser (yes, that’s right - the fish-faced alien race of Admiral Ackbar’s people is called the Mon Calamari. Let’s give it up again for Lucas’ originality).

Most people counter all of this by saying “all the Death Star needs is one shot.” Maybe. The Borg Cubes can operate with about 75% of the ship completely destroyed, or something ridiculous like that. For the sake of argument I’ll concede that an ambushed Borg Cube would probably lose to the Death Star. But that’s not assuming all other things being equal - that’s assuming a massive advantage to the Death Star in the form of the element of surprise. Another massive advantage I’m assuming the Death Star does not have is the presence of any Jedi - Sith or otherwise. Force users on the bridge mean all bets are off.

Obviously the Death Star is huge, so destroying it through bombardment would be a task, but if the main weapon can’t hit an enemy that can hit the Death Star, and the TIE fighters are no threat to that enemy (and really? to the Borg? Please) then it’s really just a matter of time. Probably not that much time either. Seriously, if the engineers overlooked such a material flaw as an uncovered exhaust port the size of a womp rat, do you really think that was the only structural defect in the whole machine?

That’s my take on it - Borg wins by default. The Death Star was a great strategic weapon - a world destroyer and a symbol of power. But it was a terribly tactical weapon - unwieldy and incapable of quick, decisive action. And that is how I landed my wife.

Having an informed opinion about all things geektastic never hurts.

Iconic Moments in Growing Your Inner Geek

I would never presume to write a definitive list of “things you must do to be a proper geek.” The reasons for such discretion are primarily practical - I don’t want to deal with my Constant Readers’ “constructive criticism” that I forgot this or that, or should not have included something else. Also, there is the fundamental disagreement amongst interested parties as to what precisely constitutes a geek (as opposed to a nerd, dork, dweeb, etc.) and exactly what type of geek a particular person is. Eventually, we will have to have some sort of U.N. sanctioned international summit to resolve this question (as if the U.N. ever resolves anything - political zing!), but until then I will go with a fairly broad definition of a geek as someone with an inordinate interest in one or more areas of popular or niche culture which have nothing to do with athleticism. “Geek” is in no way mutually exclusive from the other terms mentioned above - one can be a “geek” and a “nerd” - but one is not the same as the other (though I and others may occasionally use such terms interchangeably out of literary laziness).

Understand, when I use the word “geek” I (a) paint myself with the same brush, and (b) do not mean it as a derogatory term in any form or fashion. Urban Dictionary (yeah, I know - I need a new source) describes geeks as “the people you pick on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.” I think the spirit of that definition is accurate more often than not, as geeks tend to be people who think outside the box, and are non-conformists in some sense other than the really annoying teenage angst sense where “no one understands me, so I’ll go listen to Modest Mouse and grow out my bangs.” Geeks are well served in later life by being their own people, while often being ostracized in early life because they didn’t conform to some arbitrary standard of interests, hobbies, or fashion.

One can be a geek in a single category, as in someone who is well adjusted in most respects but has an unhealthy fascination with all things Disney. Not that I know anyone like that. Ahem. More often, geeks tend to hold interests in multiple “geek” categories - sci-fi, fantasy, role playing games, video games, comic books, etc. These are the more well-rounded geeks, but too many geek interests can counteract the constructive aspects of being a geek by making one a lazy slacker.

One can be a geek about a specific movie, TV, or book franchise, or one can get geeky about a more mainstream hobby - band is a great example. You knew them in high school, and may have been one yourself - there were kids in band, and then there were band geeks. Many of my friends are proudly self-described band geeks. I myself was a theater geek in high school. My parents wouldn’t sign the permission slip for me to warm the bench on the football team, so I had to do something, and that was where I found my niche. In the old days, AV clubs were havens for geeks, and though they probably aren’t called that anymore, any high school club involving computer based design, film-production, or audio/visual editing of some other kind is probably filled with geeks.

So, like I was saying, there’s a lot to take into account when discussing the general concept of “geeks,” so a definitive list of geek behaviors, or key moments in geekdom would be hard to pull together. That said, I am a geek and I know a lot of geeks, and there are many, many common experiences shared in and amongst those geeks I’ve known over the years. Herein, I offer a short list of Iconic Moments in Growing Your Inner Geek. Most people will not have had all of these experiences (I myself have not had all of them) but most well-rounded geeks will probably have had more than one. Enjoy.

Watching the Original Trilogy - The capitalization is not poor grammar, as there is only one Original Trilogy. Not all geeks are Star Wars fans, though it is a rare geek who truly dislikes episodes four through six in their original format, and an even rarer geek who has not at least watched these three films (cough cough *wife* cough cough). Star Wars was a defining cultural achievement, both for cinema special effects and sci-fi in general, as it allowed the concept of “space opera” to be part of popular, as opposed to niche, culture. Besides, if you can’t whip out a convenient Yoda quote when someone sets you up by saying “I’ll try,” you are socially crippled. I grew up in a generation that had “lightsaber duels” with broom handles almost as often as we had “sword fights.” From a distance they look the same, but the sound effects are miles apart. More importantly, we grew up innocent of such nonsense as Jar-Jar Binks and pod-racing intergalactic dictators. Needless to say, my early memories of the Trilogy are strong in the Force.

Mocking the Prequel Trilogy - No one hates like an old-school Star Wars fan scorned. Unlike the Original Trilogy, however, one does not need to have actually seen the movies to establish this geek bona fides, as popular culture, Youtube parodies, and RiffTrax have given us multiple ways to appreciate the finer points of the best franchise ever squandered without actually sitting through seven+ hours of excruciatingly painful “entertainment.” Midichlorians... George Lucas, you jackass.
In the same vein as this experience, but eliciting slightly less rage, is mocking the alterations to the Original Trilogy added in the “updated” versions. Among the more egregious - Greedo shooting first, the awful CGI Jabba, and the mighty “rings of doom” exploding outward from the two destroyed Death Stars. Unlimited resources and that was how you “fixed” the explosions George? Poor show old chap.

Rolling Dice- Depending on what phase of life you first experienced table-top role playing games (RPGs), you may today deny ever having had the experience, or avoid conversations where the subject comes up, but you’re just denying your inner geek. Many of us have known the joy, at one point or another, of sitting around a table drinking heavily caffeinated beverages until three a.m. and pretending to be a level seven half-elven ranger with a Ring of Sustenance, whose actions (and the outcomes of those actions) are ultimately determined by the roll of a twelve-sided die and the whims of a Game Master, or GM. And we’ve also experienced the boredom of putting up with the player at the table whose role play side-story took two hours to resolve with the GM while the rest of us grow more and more sleepy and likely to take our dice and leave. Table top role-playing is a rite of passage for many geeks, whether its the traditional medieval sword and sorcery variety (i.e., Dungeons and Dragons), or something more contemporary, or even futuristic. There are RPGs with themes ranging from western to pirate, space to other dimensional, ancient past to ridiculously unlikely future.
The big problem most people have with table top RPGs is the speed of the game, as calculating results by hand with the aid of dice is time consuming, and arguing over fine points of rules with a GM or other players is tedious. Video game RPGs (Final Fantasy, for example) eliminate that element but take away much of the social aspect. Enter Massive Multi-player Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs) such as World of Warcraft, which have become intensely popular in recent years, even drawing in the advertising credentials of significant (and less than significant) celebrities. These games allow you to be social - ostensibly - by playing online with friends or people you have never met, but have nothing like the social experience of sitting at a table with a few friends and going old school with paper and pencil and a few dice. Hopefully, as big as World of Warcraft and other MMORPGs have become, they will not replace the table top experience for the next generation of geeks. That’s where it all started, and there’s still a place

Reading LOTR and/or Harry Potter - No, I do not think the two are interchangeable. In my view, both have a great deal of merit, but I include them together because they are exceedingly popular, exceedingly geeky book series, and each to some extent defines a generation of readers. In the sixties, LOTR (Lord of the Rings, for the uninitiated) fans scrawled “Frodo Lives” on subway walls in New York, and took pilgrimages to the home of J.R.R. Tolkien. Apparently, Mr. Tolkien did not understand what all the fuss was about, but was generally quite pleased at how well received his books were.
In the last decade, Potter fans have clogged bookstores for midnight BOOK releases (think about that crazy sh**), often wearing costumes. I’ve seen five year olds devouring the eight hundred page tomes of the Potter series, so clearly there is something to these books. I myself destroyed The Deathly Hallows three days before taking the bar exam, and threatened anyone who wanted to dissect the exam with me after the fact with spoiling the end of the story. It was very effective (shocking, that law schools would be full of geeks).
Both book series have inspired incredibly successful movies (of varying quality), but nothing about the movies replaces the first experience of reading the books themselves.

Utilizing Star Trek in everyday conversation - Whether it’s a direct quote, an homage to the Shatner’s broken delivery style, analogizing a situation to an engineering problem Geordi LaForge had to overcome, or simply testing a possible love-interest with the query “Death Star versus Borg Cube - who wins?” (this is a story for another time), the first time one references Star Trek in everyday life is a special occasion indeed. Like with Star Wars, one does not have to be a Trekkie (or Trekker) to be a true geek, but also like with Star Wars, it is a rare geek that doesn’t have a passing familiarity with some of the characters, situations, and actors of the iconic series. A certain amount of mocking is to be expected, as most fans acknowledge the original series had weak points, the first few seasons of TNG were terrible, and Voyager might as well take a long walk off a short pier. But unlike with the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, most Trek fan ribbing is good natured, and for the most part the bad is enjoyed right along side the good.

Attending your first “Con” - “Cons,” or conventions, generally implies either a thematic convention of small to medium stature (for example, a Star Trek convention in Akron, Ohio, or a Comic Book Convention in Charlotte, NC) or one of the much larger geek meccas which occur throughout the year in major U.S. cities which have no particular theme and seemingly cover all things geek (Comic Con in San Diego - going on right now! - or Dragon Con in Atlanta later in the fall). Cons are all about fully embracing whatever it is that has drawn you to the Con, which inevitably is some incredibly geeky side of you. Whether it is an interest in gaming (board or role play), anime, sci-fi, fantasy, comic books, the latest project by Joss Wheedon/A.J. Abrams/Chris Nolan/Marvel Studios, the Dresden Files, or just fishing around for fellow cosplay aficionados (if you don’t know, you’re better for it, and I’m not explaining the concept), there is a Con or Cons for you. Think what you will about the people who show up in wizard robes and chain mail - you are only in a position to judge at all because you are at the same Con. Embrace your geekdom and put on your Spock ears.

Having your first midnight movie hangover - Off the top of my head, I cannot think of movie that had a midnight premiere that doesn’t qualify as a geeky movie in some form or fashion.* The latest round of Batman films, Harry Potter, the Star Wars Prequels, the J.J. Abrams Star Trek reboot - the only So if you’ve ever been to a midnight showing of any movie, the odds are good your have some geek in you. Depending on your age at the time (midnight movies tend to be dominated by high school and college age geeks) you may have bounced back easily, but the mignight movie hangover is an experience unique to the fully formed, post-college geek. There are no more excuses. You’re old enough to know better. You’re still out doing this crap. You are Geek. Go roar, or something.


* Although the Twilight Saga had midnight showings, and every self-respecting geek I know despises Twilight fans almost as much as they hate Jar-Jar Binks, there is no denying that if you have an affinity for werewolves and vampires, you are probably harboring some geeky tendencies. Therefore, I grudgingly include even this detestable franchise and those who stayed up to watch the premieres in this discussion. Losers.

These are just a few iconic geek-oriented experiences that may help you identify whether or not you are, in fact, a geek. If you recognize yourself in some of these experiences, congratulations - you may be a geek. Keep doing what you’re doing and let your geek grow. If you haven’t had any of these experiences... what the heck is wrong with you? Even “cool kids” get references to Kirk and Spock!